


Yellow Roses for Her, Orange Roses for Jim

by Misscar



Series: Redefining Happily Ever After [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Music, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Misunderstandings, Romantic Comedy, Roses, Valentine's Day, Wisecracking Vulcans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 05:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misscar/pseuds/Misscar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  How do you survive your break up when you must live and work with your ex? How do you move on to someone else without wrecking two very important friendships? Valentine's Day 2259 will be entertaining.<br/>This is a different type of love story.<br/>A Valentine's Day story for the rest of us.</p><p>Can be read as a stand-alone story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part one: The End is Just Another Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Title:Yellow Roses for Her, Orange Roses for Jim  
> Sequel to: Giving You Away for Someone Else to Take  
> Series: Trek Pod and Redefining Happily Ever After  
> Inspired by: Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo  
> Lyric excerpt:  
> “Yeah, I'm feeling good tonight, finally doing me and it feels so alright, oh,  
> Time to do the things I like, going to the club everything's alright”  
> “Telling me to get my shit together now I got my shit together, yeah,  
> Now I made it through the weather better days Can't get no better  
> I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,  
> I'm so sorry but it's over now, the pain is goooone,
> 
> Originally posted: February- June 2011  
> In other words, this was my Valentine's Day 2011 story that took four months to finish.  
> Setting: Immediately after the first movie, which means this becomes AU on May 15, 2013.
> 
> Pairings: Post S/U and with on the verge K/S  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. I'm just the latest person to reinterpret the material. Unfortunately, I'm not being paid to do it.  
> Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.
> 
> However, there should be fewer mistakes now than last time. This is a revised version.

Nyota never had to deal with an ex boyfriend before. That is not to say that Spock was her first ex boyfriend. He was not even her first major relationship, even if he was the first guy she really loved. She has had several former boyfriends but she usually never had to see any of them the next day, let alone work side by side for the next five years. This was a new experience.

The first few weeks hurt like hell, even if she was the one who terminated the relationship. She had to constantly remind herself that she made the right decision every time she saw her ex. Nyota personally loves her captain for having the foresight to assign her and Spock to separate shifts that first week.

That only lasted so long, eventually she had to be a grownup and deal with being around someone that she still loved that didn't love her. Receiving emotionless stairs from Spock was just as bad as icy glares from someone else. It was like a stab in the heart. Even if he supposedly saw the logic in ending their relationship, she knew she hurt him. That is okay, because she hurt herself.

At least, he had Jim to help him through the breakup. She had no one at first. Almost all her friends were assigned to the Farragut. No one on that ship survived. She really needed someone to talk to those first few weeks and had no one. She hated spending every lunch alone, as she watched her ex become closer to someone else. Part of her wondered if breaking up with Spock sent him in to Jim's arms faster but she knew it was inevitable. Within weeks, the two seemed like they have known each other their whole lives despite occasional 'arguments' on the bridge.

Then one day six weeks post breakup, Jim sat next to her in the cafeteria. Apparently, he was tired of her spending all her time alone moping and keeping everyone at arm's length.

"Is this seat taken?" Jim asked her.

"No," she told him because she knew she couldn't turn her captain down. "I think everybody's avoiding me. Where's your boyfriend?" She asked preparing to get up very quickly if Spock would be joining their table. After six weeks, she wasn't ready to eat lunch with him yet. They were just getting to the point where she could work on the bridge with him without feeling absolutely miserable.

"What boyfriend? When would I have time to date with Starfleet sending us from one diplomatic ass-kissing mission to the next? I no longer have a sex life. Besides, I have not had a boyfriend in—a very long time." Jim said that last part not looking at her.

"I was talking about Spock. Wait, you have had boyfriends before?" She asked that part in near shock. Even though she now knows he is not as bad of a person as she initially thought he was, the concept of Jim Kirk and monogamy just didn't seem to fit.

"Spock is just a friend." Jim protested a little too quickly. She doesn't believe him when he says that but she is not emotionally ready enough to challenge him on that particular point. She is not ready for her ex boyfriend to move on. Jim noticed this and changed the subject.

"Why are you so shocked that I have had a boyfriend before? The ladies' man thing is highly exaggerated, even if I can be quite charming." He said using his trademark smile to illustrate his point.

"Trust me; I already know when people say ‘Jim Kirk will sleep with anybody’ they really do mean anybody, even if they get the final number a little too high. Remember when we first met?" She asked him.

"You mean when your fan club beat the hell out of me? How could I forget? That night changed my life." Her captain said that last part in all seriousness. Considering he started Starfleet the next day, she believed him.

"They were not my fan club." Nyota said defensively. "They were just a group of guys who were trying to sleep with me because they didn't know I already had a boyfriend." She said with a touch of irritation.

"Sorry. You two were already together by that point?" Jim asked her.

"Only a couple of weeks, but he still didn't want to come to Iowa with me. I'm pretty sure that one member of my supposed fan club had another reason to beat the hell out of you. I was actually at that particular bar the day before when I saw you making out with one of the guys who beat you up the next day. For that reason alone, I find it a little hard to believe that until recently any of your relationships lasted beyond breakfast. You are maturing now, so who knows." She said looking around wondering when Spock would get there.

"Spock is in the lab working on something that is 'fascinating' during lunch. Don't worry, you won't have to run away the moment he walks into the room." Jim said noticing her apprehension.

"I wasn't looking for Spock." She said defensively.

"Sure, I believe you." Jim said with a laugh that told her that he did not believe her.

"No you don't." She said almost rolling her eyes.

"You're right about that. I know you still care about him. I know he cares about you. You could still get back together or at least explain the human concept of breakup sex to him." She almost wanted to, but she could not back down. Her reasons for breaking up with Spock were just as valid six weeks later.

"How do you know Spock still cares about me?" She asked him, ignoring the break up sex comment.

"He told me." Jim said, it as if it was the most simple thing in the world.

"That's why we can't get back together. Spock never told me anything really when we were together. I felt like he kept me at arm's length the entire relationship. I do not know about his bad relationship with his father until Amanda died. He shares a lot more with you than he ever did with me. If we got back together, it would just fall apart again. I'm halfway to the light at the end of the tunnel and I don't want to go through this again when everything will inevitably fall apart. You wouldn't understand. When have you ever really been in love? What do you know about love?" She asked the question more to herself then to Jim.

"More than you think. I have been in love before. Contrary to popular belief, I have not slept with everybody on this ship." She heard Jim say defensively.

"I know that. I haven't slept with you. So that means that you haven't slept with everybody on the ship." She said jokingly, knowing that his reputation was exaggerated. She now realizes that he actually does care about what people think about him and the assumption that he is the ship slut irritates him.

"Funny," he said sarcastically before continuing. "Two weeks before we met, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because he said I had no future. He couldn't see himself with such a slacker like me long-term. During the break up, he actually told me my only marketable skill was sucking people off. I wish the asshole told me that before I fell in love with him." She could tell that Jim was still a little upset about the situation.

"Sorry," At least, she was actually kind during the break up with Spock. Then again, she felt like she was ripping her own heart out during the exchange.

"I'm over it now but there was a reason why I mostly stuck to girls at the academy. I met you during the middle of my post breakup breakdown where I pretty much stayed drunk and slept with anyone who was willing, in hopes of make it hurt just a little bit less. You're taking this break up much better than I did." That almost sounded like a complement from him.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get real alcohol on the ship?" She said jokingly.

"Very. Bones has all the best stuff. Let's be honest, the alcohol only works for so long and then you have to deal with reality. Facing reality for me was joining Starfleet. My turning point was Pike showing up to the bar that night and telling me I could actually be something. When you are used to everybody thinking that you are a complete screw up, that's refreshing. I think I went to San Francisco just to spite the dick and to avoid seeing him at the grocery store. Riverside is a very small town. It worked out in the end. I'm an awesome Starfleet captain now." Jim actually said smiling.

"I bet he's kicking himself now that you're the youngest captain in Starfleet history." She said smirking.

"I sent him a hard copy version of the announcement, complete with photograph. It was expensive but worth every penny for the vengeance. He actually had the nerve to send me a congratulations message where he said he always believed in me. It doesn't matter anymore. The idiot breaking up with me was probably for the best. He forced me to pull myself together. You have to love yourself before anybody else can love you. I was too big of a masochist before I joined the academy. I really was wasting my potential. I'm in a much better place now." Nyota just realized that he really did understand.

"Will it get any better? Will the pain eventually go away and I will no longer feel like I cut out my own heart?" She asked genuinely wanting his opinion.

"Eventually," Jim said before pausing for a moment. That is when she noticed her ex boyfriend taking the seat across from her. She should have been able to tell it was Spock by the way Jim's face lit up completely before he frowned quickly.

"I thought you were going to be working in the lab for lunch, not that I am not happy to see you. I'm always happy to see you." Jim said almost unnerved.

If she mumbled under her breath, "just friends, yeah right," no one could blame her for that.

"I will talk to you later captain." She was already getting up from the table at that point.

"Sit back down."

"That's okay. I will just let you to enjoy the rest of your lunch. I'm done anyway." She said as an excuse.

"I would believe you if your lunch did not look replicator fresh. I have no trouble making that an order. Please sit back down." Jim said in a calming voice.

"When you terminated our romantic relationship 6.3 weeks ago, you indicated that you still wish to maintain a friendship. I thought friends eat lunch together." Why did Spock have to be right? It was annoying.

"Fine," She said sitting back down. "What experiment were you working on this afternoon?" She asked Spock as she took a bite of her sandwich. To her absolute shock, instead of getting a quick answer he actually responded in detail with their captain asking him all sorts of little questions.

She had this irrational fear that eating lunch with her ex boyfriend would be like having a fork shoved in her heart. It wasn't like that. It was pleasant. Maybe, just maybe, she can survive this break up without transferring.

* * *

Jim was right. Things did get better, eventually. The constant misery and sadness finally went away although that may have something to do with her starting to make new friends. One of those friends just happened to be her former boyfriend, once she could be in a room with him for more than 5 minutes at a time off duty.

She didn't date by choice. One, she wasn't completely ready for a new relationship, even if she was completely over Spock. She was trying to figure out who she wanted to be and it was becoming apparent that being single was for the best.

Also, she wasn't looking for forever. Unfortunately, short-term relationships were not practical when you have to see the guy the next day. There was always shore leave but it didn't happen nearly enough.

Their first shore leave finally occurred almost nine months in to the mission. It just happened to coincide with Valentine's Day 2259. For the first time since second grade, when four different boys asked her to be there Valentine, she was single. Last year at this time, she would have dreaded the thought of being alone on the one day in earth culture completely dedicated to love and romance. She was a romantic at heart.

This year, it didn't bother her. Sometime over the last 12 months, she realizes that she could buy her own flowers and chocolate. She didn't need a boyfriend to be happy. She was happy. She is probably happier now than she has been in a very long time.

She loved her friends. She realized Jim was not a bad person, once he stopped trying to sleep with her. She is not even that upset that he's trying to sleep with her ex boyfriend, even if her captain is still denying that he has any interest in Spock beyond friendship. The ‘back rub incident’ on the bridge was a dead giveaway.

From that first almost awkward lunch nearly seven months ago, Spock has become one of her best friends. She and Spock were much better friends than lovers. Being grounded in logic and professionalism was a great foundation for a lifelong friendship, not a lifelong love affair.

Some days during the boring shifts, she has too much fun speaking behind her captain's back in Old Russian with Chekhov. Christine was great and was the type of person you could tell anything to. Even the ship's grumpy doctor became a good friend, but that's mostly because they shared stories of heartbreak over alcohol. By this point, she had many friends.

She also loved her job. There was something great about discovering a new language and programming it into the universal translator that is better than falling in love. It was almost better than sex but that was only because her last ex was that good. (She will admit that she misses the sex but she is human.) She loved being on the away team. She enjoyed being a major part of any negotiation. She enjoys contributing to the success of Enterprise as a whole.

She has found a satisfaction in her job that wasn't there before. That was a good thing. That empty feeling from the beginning of the mission has been filled was something great.

Her plan for Valentine's Day 2259 involved sending herself a dozen red roses, getting dressed in a sexy outfit, going clubbing with Christine, and enjoying every single guy at the club wishing they had a chance with her. It was a good plan. As she was putting on the brand new shoes she bought today at one of the local boutiques, she heard a knock at the door. She did not think to look assuming that Christine forgot her key card again like yesterday. Instead, it was Spock at her door holding a bouquet of yellow roses and something that looked like a teddy bear with fangs. Actually, more shocking than that was the fact he was wearing a suit.

"So what brings you here?” She asked as she let him into the room.

"When you terminated our romantic relationship 8.4 months ago you indicated that you never expected me to bring you rose's on Valentine's Day. I felt the illogical need to prove you wrong. James assured me it was perfectly normal for friends to give each other Valentine's Day presence. I believe yellow is the appropriate color for friendship on earth. The "vampire teddy bear," as James refers to it, is from him. He refuses to call the replica by its traditional Vulcan name; although, I have no idea why it is covered with hearts." He said handing the two items over to her. She had to suppress the need to laugh.

"The year after we break up you bring me presents. Thank you, but I can buy my own flowers. I do appreciate the irony." She said smiling as she walked to the bathroom to put the flowers in water.

"Until the termination of our romantic relationship, I had no indication whatsoever that you expected such things on this earth holiday. There is no such holiday in Vulcan culture. I was unfamiliar with the various traditions associated with the date. You never explained the significance to me directly." Why did she have this uneasy feeling that all her little hints last year were just a little too subtle? Now that they were friends, she realized that sometimes you needed to hit Spock over the head for him to understand certain things.

"We really had bad communication when we were dating? Because you have that ability to read my mind, I assumed that you actually did." She said as a joke before continuing. "So why are you so dressed up? I don't think I've ever seen you in a human style suit before. You even wore Vulcan robes to Amanda's memorial service."

"For some illogical reason, James asked that I dress in this particular outfit for dinner tonight. I chose to humor him."

"Big Valentine's Day date?" She asked smiling. When they broke up, she didn't think she would ever be happy about him being with someone else but she actually like Jim Kirk. Oh god, she can't believe she just said that, even if it was just in her mind.

"James and I are just friends." Spock told her for the one-millionth time. She never believed him.

"Do you realize that you're actually calling him James and not captain? That alone tells me that you two are not just friends, even if you have not kissed yet. If you two are together, you don't need to keep it from me to spare my feelings. I'm not a fragile little girl that needs to be protected. I am over you. A part of me will always love you, but I have moved on. I'm happy, even if I'm alone. I enjoy being single. I think James makes you happy, even if you will never ever confess to actually feeling any such emotion."

"I have emotions; I just choose not to express them. I do care for James a great deal." Spock said in such a deadpan voice that she started laughing. "I value my friendship with him, just as I value my friendship with you."

"But you know it's more than that with him. The fact that your cheeks are really green right now confirms my hypothesis. Even though it hurt me a lot, I ended our romantic relationship so you could find happiness and the one. I see the way you two are together. I actually saw you almost fall apart when Jim went missing a few months ago on a mission. You two were lifelong friends the moment you met, even though you were at each other's throats. I'm so sorry that it didn't work out between us, but it’s okay now. I think Jim is the one for you." Unfortunately, right at that moment Christine sent her a text message asking if she was ready to leave.

"That was Christine. She wants me to meet her in the lobby in 10 minutes. I guess we have to cut this short." She said grabbing her purse and jacket from beside the bed. "Just one word of advice for tonight, if you got roses for Jim, make sure they are red or maybe orange*.” She said kissing him on the cheek before they left the room together.

"I assure you they will be." She heard him say as she stepped into the elevator by herself.

"I knew it." She said smiling as the door closed in front of her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by: Eagle Eye Cherry - Falling In Love Again lyrics
> 
>  
> 
> Lyric excerpt:
> 
>  
> 
> “I'm so tired
> 
> of falling in love
> 
> Finding it easier
> 
> to fall out”
> 
>  
> 
> “It's so long now
> 
> since I gave up my heart
> 
> I've kept the light down
> 
> I don't wanna get it hard
> 
> So let me tell you now
> 
> I just wanna be sure
> 
> that you won't hurt me
> 
> Can you promise me that?”
> 
> Update 2/13/2013
> 
> If I were to write this story now I would use When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars.
> 
> It’s beyond perfect for this story.

 

To say that Spock was shocked by his conversation with his now former girlfriend of 2.7 years 30.6 seconds earlier would be a gross misrepresentation of the situation.  He was not shocked by the discussion, because Vulcans do not become shocked.  However, he is willing to admit that he found the conversation uncomfortable, as he was not expecting it, even though he should have.

He continued to stare at the door even after she exited, reflecting on her words.  He was upset as much as he would allow himself to feel the emotion.  Her argument was logical.  There were problems in their relationship, including communication difficulties on both sides.  The major contributing factor to those issues was, he did not trust Nyota completely to accept him as he is.  For the majority of their relationship, he could not help the feeling that she would rather be with another human.  That is why he did not force her to engage in a mind meld or even mention the concept of bonding.

There were many times he did not understand why she did certain things, but he was afraid to question her.  For example, he was completely unaware until 3.2 minutes earlier that he was supposed to give her flowers on the earth holiday refer to as Valentine’s Day.  Though that would explain why she sent directions to his PADD to various flower shops and chocolate stores on February 13 of this year.  He assumed that she wanted him to pick up dinner and a bottle of wine.  He thought she sent him an article on the meaning of red roses, the year before because he was fascinated with various aspects of earth culture and his mother had an extensive rose garden on Vulcan.  He found the orange roses more fascinating than the traditional red roses because it was a hybrid like him and it resembled the sunrise on the now destroyed planet of his birth.

However, just because he did not show his affection with intoxicating chocolates or roses, did not mean that his feelings were nonexistent.  Nyota was very wrong in her assumption that he did not love her.  He felt he was showing her love by not forcing her to come with him to the colony.  His father forced his mother to move to a different planet, away from everything she ever knew to be treated like the dirt beneath their feet.  Spock never wanted to do that to someone he loved.  Even though his mother did pioneering work on the universal translator, she was forced to become the "ambassador’s wife" because she loved Sarek.

He cared about Nyota too much to let her be treated like his mother.  He respected her too much for herself worth to be tied to his existence in career.  Nyota was too intelligent and too valuable of an asset to Starfleet to be forced to spend her time on the colony, where she would be unable to truly utilize her talents.  It was not fair and he would never ask that of her.

Maybe Spock should have verbalized his rationalization for not inviting her to come with him before he left, but he did not.  He did not feel comfortable talking to Nyota about many things.  He did not feel comfortable talking to her about his feelings for her because he was brought up to not acknowledge the presence of emotions, least of all how to express emotions that he was supposed to not have.  He did not want to burden her with his troubled relationship with Sarek, at least that’s what he told himself at the time.  Now he wondered if he stayed silent on the matter because Nyota had such a close relationship with her father.  They had such a close relationship that Mr. Uhura threatened Spock with extreme bodily harm if he should ever break the heart of his little girl.  He said nothing to her, because he was unsure if she could truly understand what he was going through.

He did not feel comfortable talking to her about the loss of his mother, because she has never dealt with such a profound loss.  It was easier for him to talk to James about such matters, even though they were not friends and were just barely civil to each other.  There was just something about James that made it easy for Spock to confide in him when it seemed impossible to do the same with Nyota.  Sometimes it is easier to tell things to a stranger, than a trusted friend.  James understood what it was like to lose a parent.  James understood what it was like to be forced to live up to the unrealistic expectations of others.  James also knew what it was like to deal with a parent that one could never please.  In addition to the long conversation at Amanda’s memorial service, Spock communicated with James via e-mail several times.  Spock found those digital conversations comforting. Those conversations were the other deciding factor in his decision to return to Enterprise, besides the conversation he had with his other dimension counterpart. 

Spock almost considered sending James a message now, but decided against it.  If the rumors were somewhat accurate, James probably never dealt with the termination of a long-term relationship involving someone that he truly cared about or even loved.  Spock would have to deal with this on his own.

Even though he never said the words, Spock did love her.  If he could not express that he loved his mother, how could he express such love to his girlfriend?  He loves Nyota enough to let go and not fight her on this.  It was not going to be forever and he knew that coming in just like she did.  Even though he did love her, he couldn’t see himself bonded to her.  He was not entirely sure if it was only for her sake.

Before he could meditate more on the demise of the first real relationship, that had lasted longer than a quick sexual encounter or a few weeks, he heard his door signal, alerting him that someone wanted to enter his quarters.  Momentarily, he wondered if it was Nyota.  Maybe she changed her mind about ending their relationship.  If she did, what would he do?  Although he did not expect the termination of their relationship on his first day back, he agreed with her rationalization, mostly.  As he took a moment to ponder the situation, the buzzer sounded again, as if the person on the other side of the door was becoming more impatient. The individual actually knocked as Spock quickly opened the door. This led to his captain falling down on the floor.

“Okay, that hurt.  We need more comfortable floors.” Jim said as he got up.  Spock decided not to respond to his comment.  “You know I was this close to using my captain’s override code to enter your room.  Good to know that you haven’t broken out the liquor yet.”

“I assume that statement refers to the vast consumption of alcohol. The substance has no effect on my person. It would be illogical for me to consume alcohol for recreational purposes.” Or to forget about the termination of his relationship with Nyota, Spock added in his mind. However, he was half-tempted to break into the box of fine chocolates that Nyota bought him for Valentine’s Day last year.  He had half a box left, after breaking into it the day of his mother’s memorial service.  However, he would be on duty early tomorrow and needed to have a clear head.  He also needed to go over the personnel files of the science department, and look over the various experiments that they were to work on in the upcoming months.  He did not have time to give into his desire for self-medicating.

“Forget I mentioned it.” Jim said quickly.

 “That is impossible, due to my eidetic memory. What brings you to my quarters, Captain?” Spock asked.

“It is Jim or James right now.  If I show up to your quarters unannounced after hours you have my permission to call me by my first name.” James said nonchalantly.

“James, what brings you to my quarters after hours?” Spock said acquiescing to his captain’s choice of address in private.

“Because you decided to become my first officer so suddenly, there’s a ton of paperwork that we both have to fill out.  I already e-mailed the files to your PADD an hour ago.” Spock wondered if that was the real reason why his captain was in his quarters.  James seems somewhat uneasy as he played with the hem of his shirt.  The e-mail itself would have been sufficient.  Spock could not understand why James stopped by his quarters personally.

“I will get to it first thing in the morning if that is acceptable, captain.” Spock told his captain this because he did not feel like doing paperwork at that moment, for the first time ever.  He needed to meditate to deal with his feelings of uneasiness regarding today's events.

“It’s James.  It’s fine if you don’t want to work on it right now.” James told him.

“If that is all, James I wish to retire for the evening.” The excuse seemed too weak to Spock.  Even if he was completely human he would not be retiring at 9:00 PM.

“That’s not all.  Look, I didn’t come to get you to fill out paperwork.  I despise paperwork and I would never force anybody to do it faster.” His captain started rambling.

“I assume that it will be part of my job to make you finish your paperwork in an efficient and timely way.” Spock said quickly trying to defuse the tension.

“Probably, I think I have a yeoman for that.  I’m not sure. I’m still figuring this thing out.  There’s so much they don’t teach you in captain school but most captains usually log in some time as an officer before they become a captain.  Look, the reason why I’m here is, I know about the super-hot Uhura dumping you.” James said in a rush not looking at him.

“I was not thrown on the floor by the lieutenant; she merely terminated our romantic acquaintance.  In addition, she is not physically warmer than any other human being. However, compared to a Vulcan, she would be considered slightly warmer. Vulcans have a lower body temperature than humans.*” Spock said in such a matter of fact way that most people would be unaware that he was joking.  During his time on earth, Spock realized that humor puts most humans at ease.

“Vulcans are physically colder than humans?  I heard it was the other way around.  I guess the kissing with fingers thing is another myth?” Jim asked with a smile.

“It is true that Vulcans kiss using their hands.  However, the assumption about the higher body temperature is erroneous.” Spock told him without blinking.

 “I learn something new every day. This is so cute.  We’re sharing, that’s the first step to a long lasting friendship.  Look, I know you will not be engaging in any hand holding make out sessions any time soon because you two broke up.  I just wanted to see if you were okay.” Jim said that last part seriously.

 “I am fine.” Spock said, using a word that he detested because he was unsure of his mental state presently.

“I don’t believe you.  When I used that term in your presence this afternoon, I received a 2-minute lecture on the ambiguous nature of the Word ‘fine’.  Nobody is perfectly OK after a breakup.  It’s okay to be upset.  You can even cry.” Jim said actually touching his shoulder.

 

 

“Vulcan’s do not cry.  If you were paying attention in your xenobiology or culture classes, you would know this. Considering you were unaware of the temperature of Vulcans, I assume that you missed that day.” Spock said nonplused.

“More joking.  If I didn’t know better I would say you have a sense of humor and you’re using it as a defense mechanism.  I’m not a complete idiot.  I tested out due to intense tutoring from my doctor roommate and firsthand experience.  No, I did not get all the experience on my back or knees.  I traveled a lot because of my mom’s job growing up.  What about you?  You’re not like other Vulcans.  Your special, and that’s what makes you great.” No one but his mother saw his uniqueness as a good thing before, this made Spock happy, not that he would admit to being a little happier because of Jim’s words.

 

 

“I did not mean to imply that you are promiscuous or unintelligent.  In the short time we have been acquainted, I have come to realize you are a unique human being that is the complete opposite of what everyone assumes you to be. Yes, I have cried and no, I do not want to talk about the experience.” Spock said extending his hand in a gesture for Jim to take a seat.

“It’s okay.  We all deal with breakups in our own way.  When Ryan broke up with me because he thought I had no future, I stayed sober just long enough to destroy his perfect GPA by breaking into the computers at Iowa State.  You don’t want to know what I had FIRS do to him.  That showed him that I had other marketable skills besides sucking cock.  After that, I stayed wasted and literally fucked my way through Riverside ending with getting beat up by four cadets and joining Starfleet on a whim.  Okay, so I’m not the best example of what to do post breakup.  Just promise me we won’t have a repeat of the bridge incident.” Jim said sincerely.  Spock was surprised Jim actually had a long-term relationship before.

“There will not be a repeat of the bridge incident.  Who was Ryan?”  Spock asked.

“He was my boyfriend before I joined Starfleet.  Honestly, I joined just to prove him wrong at first.  We were together for two years when he finally decided to end it, right after graduation by insulting me and making me feel worthless.  Why are you not shocked?  Most people have their mouths on the floor when I mention I had a boyfriend before.”  Jim asked, once he noticed Spock’s non reaction.

“Although, I am surprised that you maintained a romantic relationship with anyone for that amount of time, I am not one to be shocked.  I am Vulcan, we do not get shocked.” Spock said quickly.

“I mean, you’re not shocked that I had a boyfriend?” James clarified. 

 “Why should I find that surprising?  I myself have engaged in sexual intercourse with male partners before.” Just then, James started coughing profusely for some unknown reason.

 “Would you like a glass of water?” Spock asked trying to be a good host.

 “Yes, please.” James answered between coughs as Spock got up to retrieve a glass of water.

 “Thank you.” Jim said, taking the glass and having a drink. “I guess what I was trying to say before I got completely sidetracked, is that it’s okay not to be perfectly OK with a breakup.  If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.  My door is always open to you. I mean for some weird reason we even share a bathroom.” Jim said that last part with a smile.

“Thank you for the offer, but I will deal with this on my own.”  Spock said in response.

“Just thought I’d offer, again, you’re doing better than I did, but it's still early.  I would probably be becoming acquainted with my good friend Jack Daniel’s right now but you said alcohol has no affect on you.  Is the chocolate thing a myth like the body temperature thing?  If not, I may or may not have snuck a bottle of chocolate liqueur into my personal things.  You’re welcome to have it if you want.” James offered.

 “If you are referring to chocolate being an intoxicant for Vulcans, then yes the chocolate thing is true.  However, because I will be on duty tomorrow it is illogical to become intoxicated.” Spock said quickly.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.  I’m not sure how I’m going to do it, but I want to juggle the schedule for the next week so you and the lieutenant will not have to work together.” Spock was surprised James made such an offer, without being prompted.

 “That’s not necessary.  Being Vulcan, I can compartmentalize my feelings.” Spock said rejecting the offer.

“My neck remembers the last time that happened.  Besides your ex-girlfriend is human and it is going to be a little harder on her.  It’s not like she’s suddenly going to be okay with everything tomorrow and start making out with Bones behind curtain three.  She needs time and space.” James raised a logical point.  Even though Nyota initiated the termination of their relationship, Spock knew from their physical contact that she was reluctant to do so.

“If that were to happen, I would suggest a full body scan as well as checking the ventilation system for various toxins and pathogens. Nyota would have to be drugged to behave in such an unprofessional matter while on duty.  The incident on the transporter pad was a temporary lapse of good judgment on both our parts due to the circumstances.”

“And people say Vulcans don’t have a sense of humor.  You have been a regular comedian tonight.” James said getting up from the couch as he placed his glass of water on the table.  Spock suddenly realized that he did not want James to leave.

“Although, I do not find it logical to partake in the human custom of drinking ones feelings away, I would not be opposed to having company.” Spock said trying to persuade Jim to stay.

 “The only thing I have to do is paperwork and I already told you how much I hate that.  I unpacked yesterday when I came to do one last inspection, so I’m yours for the night.  Do you play computer games?” James asked.

“I do not find most computer games challenging.  Most of the time, I find myself reprogramming the game.” Spock actually found reprogramming games much more challenging than playing.

“I do the same thing.” Jim said with another smile.

“I am not surprised.” Spock said remembering what James did to his simulation weeks earlier. That seems inconsequential now considering everything that has happened in the interim.  “I usually play chess against the computer because I am unable to obtain a partner.”

“You play chess?  My Nana taught me to play when I was little before she died.  She left me an old fashion set.  The pieces are actually made of marble.  It’s one of the few things I brought with me.  Do you want to come over to my quarters and play?” James asked eagerly.“That would be acceptable.” Spock replied satisfied that he would be spending the evening with James.

To be continued

 

 

End Notes:

 

*Even though it is very common in fanfiction for Vulcans to have a higher body temperature compared to humans, it is cannon for Vulcans to have a lower body temperature in comparison.  This makes sense because why would you turn up the thermostat or wear extra layers if you were hotter than everyone else?  My body temperature is just a degree or two below average and I always have to wear a sweater.  I don’t know about anybody else but when I have a fever I turn down the thermostat and put on a tank top.

 


	3. Will You Be the One that Lasts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I haven't played chess since junior high and even then I wasn't that good at it. Therefore, I kept the game description as simple as possible.   
> Francesca Monterone, my beta for this chapter, improved the chess section for which I am grateful for.  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Inspired by: Every Time Janet Jackson  
> Lyric excerpt:  
> I'm afraid I'm starting to feel  
> What I said I would not do  
> The last time really hurt me  
> I'm scared to fall in love  
> Afraid to love so fast  
> Cuz everytime I fall in love  
> It seems to never last  
> But every time your love is near  
> And every time I'm filled with fear  
> Cuz every time I see your face  
> My heart does begin to race everytime

"I told you it wouldn't be that bad. I can't believe you were that terrified of having lunch with your ex-girlfriend." Jim said as he made another move on the board. Apparently, years of only having the computer for a partner resulted in Jim getting his ass kicked in three out of four games against Spock since they had started playing weeks ago. He felt unbelievably rusty as he made his next move. Then again, Spock was just that good.

They didn't play every night but Jim found it was a lot easier to communicate with his first officer over his grandmother's antique chess set than on the bridge. You would be amazed at how much work they got done in the course of a chess game. Many decisions had been made over the antique board. Their current conversation could never have happened at lunch or on duty. Then again, they were talking about Spock's ex-girlfriend, which was a very sensitive subject indeed.

Great, now he started to talk like his new best friend. They were already spending too much time around each other.

"I was not afraid to have lunch with Nyota. Vulcans do not become afraid. She was the one who was apprehensive about spending time with me outside of a work setting. Considering how well the encounter went, it is logical to conclude her fears were unfounded." Spock said effortlessly as he took one of Jim's pawns.

Jim had a feeling this was going to be another one of those games were Spock completely kicked his ass. He had felt pretty cool while castling his towers a few moves ago, but the feeling had completely evaporated by now. He probably would have been doing a lot better at this game if he hadn't been thinking about sucking one of those gorgeous fingers into his mouth. Not that he thought about his new friend in that way. He was a perfectly healthy 25-year-old not quite heterosexual guy and Spock was sexy as hell. Appreciating the fact that the guy was extremely hot didn't mean anything.

He enjoyed Spock's company too much to turn him into a quick fuck and after the disaster that was Ryan, Jim didn't do relationships anymore. He barely did guys anymore for that matter. With women, it had always been about physical gratification and he could still appreciate that. With guys it had always been more about the emotional relationship and after what had happened last time he just did not want to risk it. Sex was wonderful, love sucked.

"Bullshit," Jim exclaimed, wondering if the words applied more to Spock's last statement or some of his earlier thoughts. It was obvious that Spock was just as uncomfortable around Nyota as she was around him but he tried to mask it by superior Vulcan indifference. However, Jim had learned firsthand that Vulcan pretense would only take you so far and then somebody would end up with hands around their throat and not in the fun way.

"There are no farm animals aboard the Enterprise, let alone any of their waste products." Spock said in response to his outburst. Jim had to fight the urge to laugh at Spock's words. He was not doing so well. It didn't take him any time at all to figure out that his first officer had an excellent grasp of human humor and used it as a defense mechanism whenever necessary. This was one of those times.

"You know what I mean. I can't believe you use playing dumb as a defense mechanism." Jim said with a sigh as he made another move on the board.

"I assure you, Captain, I am doing no such thing." Spock responded, nonchalantly capturing another of Jim's pawns en passant. Okay, so this probably wasn't going to be a very long game.

"Didn't we make some sort of rule about when the chess board is out its first names only?  Whatever. I'm not completely oblivious. You two barely talked to each other on the bridge unless it was absolutely necessary. That could prove problematic in a crisis." Jim said as he nearly avoided being in check.

"Which was why you manipulated us this afternoon?" Spock asked before making his move with one eye brow raised.

"I did not manipulate either of you. It's perfectly normal for a captain to have lunch with his chief communications officer." Jim said defensively before making a somewhat desperate move that promptly resulted in the loss of his second knight. He couldn't concentrate when Spock was glaring at him like that.

"You knew that I would be joining you for lunch as soon as I finished handling the situation in one of the labs." There was that death glare that Jim has become so accustomed to.

"I had no idea you would finish so quickly." He said with false innocence. "It's was good thing you did, though. You two are talking to each other again, which is necessary. You don't have to be best friends again, but you and her have to be able to communicate like responsible adults. Yes, I know you two have been very professional but things have been tense. I'm not having someone die on my ship because of a lover spat. I am also not going to lose the best communications officer in Starfleet because of personal issues." Jim said as he looked down to see Spock put him in check anyway despite his best efforts. This game was going to be a disaster. But it was so not his fault that he couldn't concentrate every time Spock accidentally brushed his fingers. This resulted in another less than stellar move on the board.

"You have a point. We are both mature professionals and it is imperative for us to behave as such." Spock said, before finally looking up from the board. "Checkmate."

"This is getting humiliating." Jim mumbled under his breath as he walked over to his personal replicator to get something to drink. Because they sometimes talked about sensitive work related things, they met in one of their quarters to play/work.

He was half-tempted to break out his secret stash of alcohol but that was reserved for special occasions like when a member of the security detail got eaten on a supposedly peaceful planet during what was supposed to be nothing more than a PR stunt. Instead, Jim went with something non-alcoholic.

"You should not feel humiliated. Considering my ranking and the duration of our game, I found this match quite challenging." Spock said setting up the board for round two of this mortifying experience. He was undoubtedly being polite, even Jim knew that winning a chess game because your opponent was too distracted to react properly, was not really flattering. Jim hated losing to anyone, usually. Yet he kept playing because it meant getting to spend more time with Spock .If he hadn't known better he would say this was schoolboy with a crush behavior.

"Part of me thinks you are just being nice so I will give you a good evaluation this year." Jim said with a laugh as he walked over to the table with cups in hand.

"Considering my performance is always exemplary there is no need for me to resort to such means. I genuinely appreciated playing against someone with such a unique mind and unorthodox style." Jim could tell by Spock's tone that he was being sincere. Actually, Jim was slightly surprised that he could tell anything by Spock's tone, considering it usually sounded exactly the same. Yet he could tell.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Jim said sitting back down as he handed Spock a cup of the tea that he always drank. Jim went with the Starfleet version of coffee. Why couldn't they make a deal with Starbucks so they could have something decent to drink in the replicators that resembled coffee rather than burnt mud?

"May I ask you a personal query before we begin the second game?" Spock asked as he placed the last piece in position.

"Sure, all those rumors about my sexual prowess are highly exaggerated. I have never been involved in an orgy with three ambassadors, two professors, and an admiral." Spock's hand was shaking a tiny bit when Jim said this. He was pretty sure that was the Vulcan equivalent of shock or maybe amusement. Freaking Spock out had become his new favorite pastime.

"I had no desire to authenticate such a rumor. Before our relationship became sexual, Nyota and I were friends of a sort. Although, things were less tense after the lunch this afternoon on both sides, I wonder if our relationship will return to what it once was. Do you have any experience in this area?" Jim suppressed the sudden urge to drop his jaw in shock at Spock's question.

Spock was actually asking him for relationship advice. Shock would not exactly have been the best way to describe his reaction. It would have been a gross understatement. Actually, Jim was less shocked when he found out his very hot first officer played for both teams weeks ago. Choking on hot coffee was not good. He should have gone with the Starfleet version of coke products. Less dangerous in situations like these.

"Are you alright? These coughing fits are starting to become more frequent. Maybe you should consult Dr. McCoy." There was no point in doing this. Jim knew his recent coughing fits were all Spock related.

"It's just allergies." Jim said using his old standby excuse. "I'm fine and please don't lecture me on the ambiguity of the word again." Jim said quickly, once his breathing became normal.

"As you wish." Spock said letting it go.

"I don't know what to tell you. I have not had the best luck with relationships. My first girlfriend, and I use the term loosely, essentially slept with me just so she could win some stupid bet about screwing George Kirk's Son. It just went downhill from there." Jim said with a sigh.

"That was unfortunate." Spock said as he took another drink of his tea.

"Ryan was the worst. After the breakup, I found out the bastard only started dating me in the first place to piss off his parents. He never loved me. That type of betrayal was not exactly the best foundation to build a lifelong friendship on." Jim said this as he started playing with one of the chess pieces on the board because he was feeling uncomfortable. He was always fidgety when he was uncomfortable and talking about Ryan made him extremely uncomfortable. He wished they had still been playing because then he could have distracted himself.  Jim had never been one for sharing his personal history with others. Somehow, Spock made it easy for him to open up.

"Neither is placing a malicious code into someone's exam to facilitate cheating or making inappropriate comments about their mother." Spock practically mumbled as he took another drink of his tea.

"I said I was sorry." Jim said defensively. "You're not completely innocent, either. Most people who get in trouble for academic dishonesty don't end up brought before the entire Board of Admirals. Usually anything involving cheating on an exam involves a private meeting with the instructor of record before it is turned over to judiciaries. Let us not forget about the marooning on the ice planet of the damned and being choked in the not fun way in front of everyone. I think I owe your father a box of chocolates for saving my life that day." Jim said in annoyance. You would think that Spock would be over it by now, considering how much time they had been spending together the last three weeks. Actually, considering what had happened, he was a little shocked to see how things had progressed. There had just been this instant connection…

"It is impossible for me to forget anything. You are missing my point. If you and I are able to foster an amicable relationship despite such circumstances then it is only logical to conclude that friendship is never outside the realm of possibilities no matter what occurred in the past." Spock said almost smugly.

"I think you just answered your own question. I never wanted to be friends with any of those people. Therefore, I never tried to cultivate a good relationship after the romantic relationship had ended. You want to get that back. If you want something bad enough you will get it. Just give her time to get used to things." Jim said with a smile.

"I have." If Jim hadn't known better, he'd have sworn that Spock was being defensive.

"I know. Now you are in the easing back into things phase, instead of the staying away from each other phase. I suggest doing more things outside of work hours." Jim suggested.

"Considering we are on a starship the options are very limited." Again, if he hadn't known better he would have sworn he heard Spock being sarcastic.

"We should do a movie night." Jim suggested simply because he wanted an excuse to do more activities on the ship especially with the two months of star mapping scheduled in the near future.

"What would the purpose of that be? Most people can stream movies in the privacy of their quarters." Really, why did Spock have to be so logical sometimes? This was slightly annoying.

"It's a bonding activity complete with replicated popcorn. We should do old earth science fiction and you can tell everyone how scientifically inaccurate the Back to the Future Films are. We have to watch the original not the remake made about 10 years ago. Let's be honest, every single member of the crew lost friends or family recently. Everyone can use a good distraction."

"I am unaware of this Back to the Future film you are referring to. However, I see the merit in your argument." This was Spock for 'I still think you are being illogical but I do not wish to waste my time convincing you otherwise'.

"Good, let's play."

XXX

So that particular game ended badly, too, but for some reason, losing to Spock didn't seem so bad. He personally blamed his mind's crazy Spock centered thoughts for his diminished concentration. He blamed the Spock centered thoughts on the forced celibacy. He was not going to lose his captaincy for his inability to keep his dick to himself.

He tried to tell himself that the object of his NC 17 thoughts was Spock because he was the only one on the ship Jim could flirt with without sexual harassment charges being filed. Obviously – and contrary to a certain communications officer's believes - that was the only reason why Jim flirted with Spock. Jim had no comment whatsoever on the 'back rub incident.' There had really been nothing to it… nothing whatsoever…

Movie night worked really well to get the two on friendly terms. You can't exactly be squeamish around your ex-boyfriend when you're surrounded by vast quantities of replicated popcorn and screaming twentysomethings. Jim was pretty sure Uhura was having just way too much fun making snide comments about everything in Russian to Chekhov. Jim was happy that she was making friends.

Jim's personal highlight of the night was the lively discussion on paradox free time travel when Jim found out that a certain sneaky Vulcan lied to him. According to his Spock, you could meet your other self without the universe imploding. That time he ended up choking on popcorn.

Karaoke night three weeks later after another fun mission involving certain security members being turned into giant cloud monster food went much better. The former couple actually volunteered to sing together. The two were friends again and Jim was happy because Spock was happy.

Three months into the mission, Jim was actually really glad the two could work together when they collectively saved his ass. Most of what happened on that particular mission is classified but let's say the mess involved him being kidnapped, alien GHB, and being chained to various pieces of furniture before becoming the possible human sacrifice. Said incident also involved a case of mistaken identity with a local fertility god. Uhura was the only member of the crew who had half a chance of negotiating with his kidnappers due to the language barrier. He was really glad that Spock and Uhura playing nice led to him not being dead.

Jim was also happy Uhura actually liked him enough to come to the rescue. Apparently, she could tolerate him once he stopped trying to sleep with her. It also helped that she was aware that his behavior had been caused by a post breakup lack of good judgment.

The life changing friendship the other Spock had promised Jim with his Spock came quite easily. Jim had actually known it from their first chess game. There was just something about Spock that made it easy for Jim to tell him stories about his screwed up childhood experiences and horrible ex-boyfriends. It wasn't surprising to Jim that months later he had allowed Spock to see a part of himself that he kept concealed from the rest of the world. There was just this connection there that Jim did not have with anybody else.

Maybe that connection was why it was so easy for Jim to fall so deeply even if the thought scared the hell out of him. He didn't realize that no matter how tired he was from whatever absolutely fucked up mission they just survived by a prayer and an engineering miracle, he wanted nothing more than to play a game of chess with Spock. Okay, so he spent a small fortune on Spock's not-a-Christmas present, but Jim wanted his first officer's first holiday season without his mother to be special. When he told Bones this was just a friend thing the man just laughed at him.

So Jim was just a teensy bit upset when he saw that Spock was with someone else. It really didn't matter, because Spock always came back to him anyway. If he was a little bit angry that he was being dragged around for perfect yellow roses for Uhura on vacation, it didn't matter. He tried to focus on the fact that the roses were yellow instead of the fact that Spock was buying his ex-girlfriend a valentine's present when Spock wasn't doing anything for Jim.

Jim was not in love with his best friend. Everybody considers sending their best friend a dozen red roses on Valentine's Day before he/she come to his/her senses. There was no way Jim Kirk would ever fall in love again. Of course, when he found two dozen orange roses in his hotel room and secretly wished that they came from his first officer, he realized that he already had.


	4. I Find You Fascinating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Merklin for reviewing this chapter.

Spock was never planning on falling in love again.  He was not planning on it the first time around either, but it still happened. So why should anything be different this time.  His mother always said that no one ever plans to fall in love, it just happens.  He did not understand what she meant until after she was no longer with him.  The end of his romantic relationship with Nyota was painful.  Being around her for those first few weeks were extremely uncomfortable, even if Spock refused to admit that to himself.  James knew anyway, even though Spock argued to the contrary.  Spock was starting to think that James knew him better than Spock knew himself even after just the first few weeks of their acquaintance.  The only other person who ever understood Spock in that way was his mother.

If it wasn’t for James presence, Spock probably would not be on speaking terms with his ex-girlfriend now nine months after the termination of their romantic acquaintance. If he were not Vulcan, he would be upset about being manipulated by James to develop a friendship with his former girlfriend, even if that was something that Spock desired.  It took time for Spock to be able to spend time with Nyota without resorting to vast amounts of meditation before and afterwards.  Spock knew things had returned to a new semblance of normalcy 3.2 months after their breakup when she placed her hand on his shoulder and told him that they would get Jim back after he was kidnapped.  For the first time in a while, all he felt was comfort from her touch.  It wasn’t the same friendship they had before but that was not necessarily a negative thing.  He needed her emotional support that day as a friend as he dealt with his fear of losing James.  At the time, he was unable to understand why he was so worried about his captain’s wellbeing.  Nyota jokingly said it was love, but it could not be that.  He would never allow that to happen again.  As a scientist, he should have been well aware that there were no such things as absolutes.

It was Valentine’s Day 2259 when Spock realized that despite his best efforts to avoid another romantic entanglement, his feelings for James were not as platonic as he thought they would be.  That was an under simplification of what he felt.  He cared about James as a friend but also as a lover.  Maybe more than he ever cared about his former girlfriend.

He knew of the possibility of developing deep feelings for James, even if he told himself several times that just because something happened in his counterpart’s dimension did not necessarily mean it would happen in this dimension.  From the first chess match the night of his breakup with Nyota, Spock knew he felt comfortable around James in a way that he never felt before.  Only his mother put him more at ease.  Spock could be honest with James without fear of recrimination or having his confidence betrayed.  James was the first friend Spock felt he could trust completely.  Even though he loved her, there were parts of himself that he just would not allow Nyota to see.  He was terrified that she would judge him and leave because he was not human enough for her.  Spock never had that fear with James because he accepted Spock exactly the way he was.

The way he acted with James was completely different.  Spock felt comfortable letting James see his grief for his mother and his uneasiness with his father.  These were all things that he concealed from everyone else.  If Spock were ever to allow himself to cry on someone shoulder, that shoulder would be James'. 

James was the one Spock confided his frustrations in once he found out his father was getting remarried less than six months after the death of his mother, for the sake of rebuilding the population and other 'biological issues'.  James allowed him to rant over their customary game of chess and a little chocolate-laced alcohol.  He would make Spock feel better by telling him stories about his first encounter with James’ future stepfather.  Spock knows that no matter what his new stepmother will be like, the woman can be nowhere near as horrible as his captain's former stepfather.

Spock easily found himself taking part in recreational activities that he normally found illogical just to appease James.  Spock only continued to participate in 'movie night' for James’ sake once he reestablished his friendship with Nyota.  There was no redeeming value in 90% of the films that James chose for ship wide viewing.  Contrary to what a certain ex-girlfriend will argue, Spock did not continue attending so he could make out with James inadvertently when they shared a bowl of popcorn.  It was not his fault that their hands accidentally made contact.  Spock just discovered that he actually liked popcorn.  Spock will not confirm nor deny that the movie nights continued in the privacy of Jim’s quarters eventually.

Yes, his relationship with James allowed for more physical contact then Spock would normally permit to occur.  He does not believe that he touches James on average 37.3 times per shift as pointed out by a certain former girlfriend of his.  He told himself this behavior did not mean that he was sexually attracted to his captain.  Apparently, he was very good at lying to himself.

However, those lies ended on their first shore leave.  How aptly such a thing would occur on the earth holiday dedicated to love.

“Please explain to me again why you are dragging me to every single flower shop on the planet to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for your ex-girlfriend?  What is worse is we’re actually doing this in person on Valentine’s Day.” James asked as they entered the establishment.  Unlike the first two flower shops they visited, this store still had flowers that did not look like they were picked three weeks previously.

“We have not visited every flower shop on the planet.” Spock said in his normal tone of voice.  “There are 974 flower shops that sell roses alone on this planet.  We have only visited two establishments so far.  This is the third.”

“Why do you have to be so you sometimes?” James mumbled under his breath. 

“I do not understand your statement.” Spock replied. 

“Never mind.  Just explain to me why you are so worried about getting the perfect Valentine's present for your ex-girlfriend?  I know you two are friends, but that is a little unusual.  You're not trying to get back together with her?” Spock could not help but notice the look of sadness in James eyes as well as the slight worry in his voice as he spoke.

“When she terminated our relationship, Nyota explained that one of the reasons was that I never participated in holidays such as Valentine's Day or provided her with any tangible display of my affection.  Of course, my specific reason for not participating in Valentine’s Day was due to the fact that we have no such holiday on Vulcan--I mean in Vulcan culture.”  Spock said correcting himself.  Sometimes it was hard to remember that the planet of his childhood no longer existed.  However, the squeeze of Jim’s hand on his shoulder helped Spock deal with those emotions in a way meditation could not.

“I was unfamiliar with the custom and therefore did not partake.” Spock continued after he regained himself.  “Nyota specifically said that I would never get her roses on Valentine's Day.” 

“Therefore, deep down inside, you have the illogical desire to prove her wrong and you’re now dragging me to find her the perfect roses.  You know that the last shop had a special on red roses.  You could have picked up a bunch and we could be enjoying our shore leave together at that museum that you’re dragging me to.”  James said with high levels of annoyance and irritation as he started to move to the rose case.

“You are the one that suggested visiting the natural history museum.” Spock said raising one eyebrow in annoyance as he followed behind his captain.

“Maybe, but I have to pretend I don’t like it because I have a reputation to uphold.  Therefore, because I want to go to the museum, I don’t want to spend all day looking for the perfect roses for your ex.”  Again the irritation was quite evident in every word.

“You explained to me four nights ago that it was perfectly normal for friends to give each other Valentine's Day presents.  Was this inaccurate?  You seem upset at the thought of me acquiring such a present.” Spock asked wondering if he made a cultural misstep.  At lease with Jim he felt comfortable asking about that sort of thing.

 “I'm not upset.  Not at all.” James said this in a way that made Spock believe that he was lying.  "If you want to get your ex-girlfriend roses for Valentine's Day I'm not going to say anything.” Spock instantly noticed James discomfort.  Spock wondered if James was still interested in Nyota.  He has heard stories from various crewmembers and his former girlfriend about how the two first met almost four years ago.  Maybe James was still interested in Nyota romantically. 

“I assure you that I am only interested in Nyota as a friend. If you are still interested in pursuing her, I would be fine with that.” Spock said even though the thought of the two together made him uncomfortable.  This did not surprise him.   The thought of James being in a relationship with anyone else was the reason for this discomfort, was shocking.

“I doubt that you’re fine with it considering you actually used the word fine.  That’s never a good sign with you.  Trust me, I’m not interested.  I see her as almost a sister now.  I just want to make sure you’re not interested in her again.  You two broke up for a reason and even though things are better now those reasons are still there.” James said as persuasively as possible.

“As I stated earlier, I am not interested in reestablishing a romantic relationship with Nyota.  The reason why I did not obtain the flowers at the last two establishments was because they only had red roses.  Red roses symbolize love and romance.  Purchasing such flowers would send the wrong message.  Unfortunately, so far it seems like that is all this store has.” Spock said as he looked through the case that had nothing but red roses.  He was worried that he would not find any yellow roses on this planet.  He knew that because this place specialized in vacationers from Earth, they usually cater to Earth holidays but it seemed like finding yellow roses that did not come from a replicator would be impossible.

 “You actually know what red roses mean yet you were completely unaware of the cultural significance of Valentine’s Day until you got the 'Dear Spock' speech?” James asked in astonishment.

“Nyota did not begin our conversation the day we broke up with the phrase 'Dear Spock'.” Spock said as he moved on to the next display case.

“You really are being you today.  Look more red roses.” James said with a sigh of annoyance.

“I only knew about the meaning of earth roses because Nyota sent me an article on the meaning of different types of roses two years ago.  My mother cultivated a rose garden when I was a child and I’ve always found the flowers fascinating.  Unfortunately, Nyota did not include an article on the meaning of the holiday.  I assumed that she sent me the article because of my fascination with roses and not as a hint of what I should do on the holiday.  I’m currently looking for yellow roses because they symbolize friendship.” Spock quickly looked over to see instant relief on James' face.

”How long are you going to keep up this wild goose chase for the perfect yellow roses?  I doubt you’re going to find the flowers here.  Hey, there are some orange roses in this case.  I thought those were just for Halloween.  That’s close to yellow right?” James asked.  Spock was half tempted to roll his eyes at the comment but chose not to.  It was moments like these where Spock knew for sure that James’ reputation as a ‘ladies’ man’ was highly exaggerated.

“Although, I personally find orange roses fascinating because they are hybrids like myself, those flowers would send an inappropriate message as well.  Historically, orange roses have been associated with desire and passion.  Although the flowers can also be used to say, “I am proud of you” or “I find you fascinating.” James actually started laughing at that.

“What do you find so humorous?”  Spock questioned.

“I just can’t believe you actually found a flower that means, “I find you fascinating.” I can't express what that means in mere words. I think that’s your version of ‘I love you’.  Let’s go.  There are no yellow roses here.” James said as they started to walk out of the store.

“We will keep searching until I find the perfect flowers or we run out of places to find such flowers.  That is starting to seem highly probable.”  Spock said as he followed behind James before the two were stopped by an approaching sales associate.

“How can I assist you gentlemen?  You are both obviously looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day present.” The associate said. 

“Exactly,” James responded.

“I’m sure we have just what you need.  My ex was never smart enough to bring me with him to get my own Valentine’s Day present.  That’s why he is my ex.  I can see both of you gentlemen are a lot smarter than he is.  I can definitely see the love between you two.” Both he and James looked at each other in slight Surprise as Spock raised both eyebrows as far as possible.

“He’s just a friend.” James spluttered out.

“Our relationship is completely platonic.” Spock said simultaneously.

“Spock is my best friend, but he’s just a friend.” James continued with lots of spluttering.  If they were in private Spock would probably smile at that sentiment.

 “I have never been as close to any other acquaintance before.  However, James is just a friend.” Spock added forgetting that in Vulcan the terms friend and lover were interchangeable.

“I mean Spock is absolutely gorgeous, but I don’t see him in that way.” Jim’s cheeks became red as he said this.

 “James is quite aesthetically pleasing. However, I do not concern myself with the physical.” Spock added almost simultaneously.  Some may argue that his cheeks were slightly green as he said this but he has no proof to support such a statement.

 “Okay,” the salesperson said in a way that obviously indicated that she did not believe either he or James. “Because neither of you are buying presents for each other let me know how I can assist you?” Spock could easily detect a bit as sarcasm in her voice.

“Spock here is looking for the perfect present for his ex-girlfriend who is now his other best friend.  When they broke up she listed never receiving roses on Valentine’s Day as one of the main reasons why she was ending their relationship.” James said just as sardonically

 “She broke up with you because you didn’t get her flowers?  The salesperson asked.

“The situation was much more complex than that.” Spock said in slight irritation.

“It always is.” The woman said with a sigh. “I’m thinking a dozen yellow roses with one of our few cards that doesn’t have hearts everywhere with a message somewhere along the lines of ‘Thank you for being a good friend’.” The sales clerk said as she pulled out her PADD.

“Precisely,” Spock replied.

“We can put that together.  We keep the yellow roses in the back because most people are only interested in the red this time a year.” The associate said as she entered in his order.

“That is logical.” Spock responded wondering if he just spoke to the salesperson at the first shop they would probably be at the museum by now.

 “Now, how can I help you sir?”  The associate said as she turned to James.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have a significant other this year. So, I doubt I will be getting any roses let alone giving any.  I was dragged here mostly for moral support.  However, I should probably get Nyota a ‘thank you for putting up with me’ present.  Although, I don’t want to get her the same thing you’re getting her.” James said scratching his head.

“There is a specialty toyshop next door.  May I suggest a nice stuffed animal?”  The sells woman said with a smile.

“That could work.” James said with a smile.  “I’m going to go over there while you give the nice lady your credit chip information.  If that’s okay with you?”

“That is acceptable.  I will meet you in the other establishment once I am done.” With that, James was out the door.

 “Okay now that he’s gone, let’s work on his present.” The woman said now smirking.

“As I stated earlier, James is just a friend.” Spock emphasized again.

“For some reason I just don’t believe you.  I’m one of the few people who do not believe that Vulcans do not lie.  Of course, I’m pretty sure you are just lying to yourself in this case.  Your behavior is screaming lovesick fool in denial.” If Spock were not Vulcan, he would be staring at the sales associate with open-mouthed shock.  Instead, he just raised his right eyebrow marginally.

“You have only met me 7.6 minutes ago.  How can you be sure of such a thing?” Spock asked as a means to dismiss her accusations.

 “Well let’s begin with the fact that you both adamantly denied that you two were together but still managed to say how sexy the other guy was simultaneously.  In addition, when you use the phrase 'just friends' that many times, it has been my experience that usually indicates the exact opposite.  You two also give off that ‘I’m so in love with him’ vibe that is easy to detect.  He looks at you like you’re the only guy in the universe.  You look at him the exact same way.  I’ve been in this business for 30 years.  I know love.  You are in love.  Fortunately, he loves you too.” Spock knew what she was saying was more true than he would like it to be but he would not let her know that.

“Be that as it may, James and I are merely friends at this time.” Spock explained.

“You’re just friends now but you want that to change.” Again the woman said smiling

“How do you know this?”  Spock questioned again as mutually as possible.

“Did I forget to mention that I am slightly empathic? It's really helpful in this business.  Now because you are Vulcan, you probably will swear up and down that you have no feelings for me to pick up on.  However, considering you are in my shop to get flowers for your ex girlfriend just to prove her wrong, I can tell you believe in defying everyone’s assumptions about you.  I could detect that you were in love with him the moment the two of you walked into my store.  The emotion was overwhelming.  Am I right?” she asked.

“You are not wrong.” Spock finally admitted the truth.

“Finally,” The associates said with a sigh of relief.  “I know just what you need, Two dozen orange roses with a very simple card.  Because the roses are an actual mixture between yellow and red, orange roses are often used to symbolize the desire to move a friendship beyond the platonic.  I think that’s the message you want to convey.” The associate said with a smile that was starting to become annoying mostly because she was right again.

“That would be acceptable.” Spock replied. 

“We also carry a great selection of Artisan Vulcan glassware that would be perfect for the roses.  I’m so glad I over ordered last year.  It will probably be another two or three years before the colony is producing glass.  I think you can use a reminder of home.   For the sake of true love, I’m willing to give you a break in the price.” The woman said quickly as she input the order into the device.

“That will not be necessary.” Spock said handing her his credit chip to scan.

“I assume you want it delivered to where you’re staying?” The associate said as she passed her PADD to Spock to input the delivery information

“Precisely.  Although, I prefer if both bouquets were delivered to my room so I can deliver both in person.” Spock added as he input the information

“We can do that.  What do you want the card to the ex-girlfriend to say?”

“Nyota, you are important to me and I value our friendship.  For James’ card…” Spock started but was cut off by the salesperson. That was a positive thing because he wasn't sure what to write.

“Don’t tell me.  That’s one message you need to write yourself.  There’s a reason why we still include hardcopy cards here.  Sometimes the words in the card mean more than the flowers.”

XXX

Giving the bouquet of yellow roses to Nyota was easy, even if she did question him about his relationship with James.  Apparently, she was more aware of his feelings for his captain then he was. 

The bouquet for James was much harder.  Spock was happy that the lady at the flower shop had the foresight to send extra cards because Spock went through several before deciding on “I find you fascinating.” He placed the bouquet and card in the hallway of their suite as he waited for James to return from his traditional Valentine’s Day drink with Dr. McCoy. 

The doctor despised the holiday because his former wife decided to have him served with divorce papers on the day five years previously.  Spock specifically requested the doctor to keep James occupied as Spock prepared his surprise.

At exactly 10 minutes to seven, Spock watched from the doorway as James walk in to see the bouquet and read the card.  Spock waited a few moments before walking into the room.

“Do you like the flowers?” Spock asked tentatively as he walked into the living room area of the suite.  However, before he was completely in the room he felt James’ lips descended upon his so forcefully it sent him falling back into the wall.  Spock could taste the bourbon on James' lips as his tongue caress Spock’s.  Never in his entire existence has Spock experienced a kiss before that made it almost impossible for him to think.  The only reason why it ended was because they both needed to breathe.

“You’re in love with me?” James panted out between breaths.

Instead of confirming the truth Spock asked another question.  “How did you infer that from the roses and the card?”

“This morning we went to three stores looking for yellow roses because you didn’t want to send the wrong message to your ex-girlfriend.  You told me this morning that orange roses symbolize passion and desire.” James said just before feverishly attacking Spock’s lips once more as their fingers entwined into the Vulcan symbol of the gesture.

“That is correct.” Spock miraculously manages to get out between feverish kisses and touches.

“You should have just said yes.  It’s easier to say when I am sucking on your lip.”  James mumbled against Spock’s mouth.  “When I was waiting in line to purchase the Vulcan teddy bear, I did a quick search on orange roses.  They also symbolize the desire to move our friendship to the next phase.” 

“I assumed by the way you just kissed me you agree.” Spock was answered with another kiss that made him lose his balance and the two ended up falling to the ground.

“OK, that really hurts.” Jim said as he pulled away slightly.  “Maybe we should do this in the bedroom just because there’s a nice soft bed to prevent broken bones.” James said as he got up from the floor.

“I concur. Although, I doubt that is why you want to move this into the bedroom.” Spock responded as James helped him up.

“You know me so well just like I know you.  Remember, I told you this morning that ‘I find you fascinating,’ is your version of I love you.  Am I right?”

“Yes,” Spock said but he was prevented from saying anything else by James’ finger on his lips.  “I don’t need to hear the words from you because I know.  I love you too.”

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: As being a writer that respects Uhura, I realize that too many times in fanfiction, she is reduced to the role of the girlfriend, the sex object, or the bitch. She is too good of a character to have that happen to her. I always try to do more than that.  
> *The definition of Orange roses from pro flower dot com  
> "Being a literal mixture of the colors yellow and red, orange roses were often seen as a bridge between the feelings of friendship symbolized by yellow roses, and love associated with red roses. Giving a bouquet of orange roses could be a sign of emerging romantic feelings and the desire to move a relationship beyond the stage of friendship."


End file.
